Sometimes my human Dad says 'NO!' If he says no, he means no. And often he doesn't give an explanation. The bit in Blue below is the only bit I hear, and it's the only bit I need to know.
NO - I can't get off the back of the truck! (There are snakes in the grass and Dad is worried I'll get bitten but I just want to run around)
NO - SIT (I want to cross the road but a car is coming)
NO - STAY (It's dangerous in the cattleyards and I don't want you to frighten the calves)
As my best friend it is very important that my Dad can say NO for my own good, even if I don't like it. You can't be a true friend if you say yes all the time.
Sometimes I want to play and Dad says NO. He doesn't want to play right now. That's okay. I can come back and ask again later and maybe he'll say YES.
Why is it that so many humans find it hard to say NO, and always feel that if they do, they should explain themselves? Sometimes humans say YES when they mean NO, and you can see on their faces and in their body language that they're worried about what other people will think if they say NO. There are humans who will take advantage of other humans who can't say NO. Even dogs will. I know there are some people that I can keep pestering and eventually they will give me a pat, or a piece of their dinner, just to make me go away. If they'd said NO firmly and meant it, I would have just left them alone. Isn't that better than spending your whole life doing what you don't want to do?
Learning: Remember, it's OK to say NO. Ask any two year old human. They love using the word NO because they understand the power of it. Not good at it? Then stand in front of the mirror and repeat after me. No. NO. No! Nooooooo. Nup. NO!
Woof! Now you've got it. I'm proud of you - so go use this new skill. It will make life much easier.
Showing posts with label communicate effectively. Show all posts
Showing posts with label communicate effectively. Show all posts
Friday, August 8, 2008
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Approaching Humans - A Dog's perspective on saying hello and making friends
Everyone needs friends. Everyone wants to be loved. And we dogs have learned how to approach humans by watching, feeling for the vibes that a person is emitting, approaching carefully and beaming joy, love and acceptance.
Ah - that's the bit humans forget. The bit about beaming joy, love and acceptance. You see, as a dog, I don't want or need anything from you. I just want to say hi. I just want you to know I see you. That you're not invisible to me. That you matter. That I'd like to give you a hug, or play with you, or maybe just hang out quietly in your space.
I approach you with love, as if you already are my friend. As if you already are someone I love. Than I just match my energy with your energy, and I beam out all the good feelings inside me so they flood you with tenderness and love and joy.
When we are connecting eye to eye, soul to soul - THEN we can start some really useful dialogue. But until we do that, it's all about the approach. About putting you in my focus and making YOU the most important thing in my moment. Sometimes we need to do that until the other person can feel lifted up enough to even be able to look us in the eye or reach out. It might take a while. But dogs are patient.
Learning: In communication, most humans think its about the message, but we dogs know that if you can't see us or connect with us our message means nothing. SO it's all about the approach. Make the other person the focus of your energy, thoughts and love. Be patient and observant, and don't expect too much. There's always time for the right words later. And sometimes words aren't needed - because love, acceptance and understanding is enough. So there you go. The basics of 'Dog Communication with Humans 101 Introductory Course'. Thanks for participating!
Ah - that's the bit humans forget. The bit about beaming joy, love and acceptance. You see, as a dog, I don't want or need anything from you. I just want to say hi. I just want you to know I see you. That you're not invisible to me. That you matter. That I'd like to give you a hug, or play with you, or maybe just hang out quietly in your space.
I approach you with love, as if you already are my friend. As if you already are someone I love. Than I just match my energy with your energy, and I beam out all the good feelings inside me so they flood you with tenderness and love and joy.
When we are connecting eye to eye, soul to soul - THEN we can start some really useful dialogue. But until we do that, it's all about the approach. About putting you in my focus and making YOU the most important thing in my moment. Sometimes we need to do that until the other person can feel lifted up enough to even be able to look us in the eye or reach out. It might take a while. But dogs are patient.
Learning: In communication, most humans think its about the message, but we dogs know that if you can't see us or connect with us our message means nothing. SO it's all about the approach. Make the other person the focus of your energy, thoughts and love. Be patient and observant, and don't expect too much. There's always time for the right words later. And sometimes words aren't needed - because love, acceptance and understanding is enough. So there you go. The basics of 'Dog Communication with Humans 101 Introductory Course'. Thanks for participating!
Listening For Emotion - Reading the Unspoken Vibes!
Humans emit emotional signals like radio stations emit songs. When you tune in to someone by paying careful attention with your heart, by watching and listening and carefully observing you can almost SEE the emotions being given off as energetic signals.
Then you can match your approach and communication with their emotional state. Sometimes you can even figure out how to give them what they need to enhance or improve their emotional state.
Humans and animals can get into very primal states - emotions that are common to all of us. These include fear, panic, grief, curiosity, anger, excitement, love, fatigue, hunger, relaxation, happiness and loneliness. When we reach out to each other and show that we can recognise the emotion the other person/animal is experiencing, it provides great comfort and reassurance. Everyone wants to be heard and understood, even when they are not sure themselves what they are trying to say or do. We all want to belong, and we all want to feel loved.
In this next video humans help animals by listening for emotions. They might look a bit silly, but just like dogs, they are willing to get down on their friend's level and really tune in to those primal emotional signals:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=tc7bdx7EBIU
Learning: Humans radiate emotion, through their body language, facial expressions, the way they dress and their tone of voice. We can tune into this emotional vibration ,and by understanding it we can build a bridge between us, no matter if we are different species. Love is the universal language!
Then you can match your approach and communication with their emotional state. Sometimes you can even figure out how to give them what they need to enhance or improve their emotional state.
Humans and animals can get into very primal states - emotions that are common to all of us. These include fear, panic, grief, curiosity, anger, excitement, love, fatigue, hunger, relaxation, happiness and loneliness. When we reach out to each other and show that we can recognise the emotion the other person/animal is experiencing, it provides great comfort and reassurance. Everyone wants to be heard and understood, even when they are not sure themselves what they are trying to say or do. We all want to belong, and we all want to feel loved.
In this next video humans help animals by listening for emotions. They might look a bit silly, but just like dogs, they are willing to get down on their friend's level and really tune in to those primal emotional signals:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=tc7bdx7EBIU
Learning: Humans radiate emotion, through their body language, facial expressions, the way they dress and their tone of voice. We can tune into this emotional vibration ,and by understanding it we can build a bridge between us, no matter if we are different species. Love is the universal language!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Listening for Sounds - Decoding the human voice!
Hi, Charlie Phillips Life Coach here again. Today I want to talk more about how dogs understand people when we don't share a common language. Actually, you might not be able to speak woof, but we can both communicate effectively through the tone of our voice. Let me simplify this one, by getting you to think about talking to dogs or small children. You may want to say the following things out loud!
There is a tone (the sound of your voice rather than the words you use) when:
There is a tone (the sound of your voice rather than the words you use) when:
- You are praising someone - 'Good Boy Charlie!'
- Encouraging someone - 'Come On, Charlie, You can do it.'
- Angry - 'Charlie! Did you do this?!' (you didn't really want that mobile phone...)
- Scolding - "Bad Boy Charlie!'
- Comforting - 'It's okay, Charlie Boy'
- Teaching someone - 'Let's do it like this, Charlie'
- Excited - 'Yay Charlie, Yipee!'
- Scared - 'Charlie - is that you?'
- Lonely - 'Charlie - please give me a hug'
- Whiney - 'Why do you keep doing that Charlie?'
- Happy - 'You're a good friend, Charlie'
- Loving - 'I love you Charlie!' (that's my favourite one)
You can also listen to how loud the voice is. Is it normal, strong, hesitant, shouting, quivering, a whisper?
Learning: Humans often forget what a powerful tool their voice can be. Listen to the tone of voice of other people, and begin paying attention to your own tone of voice. It will help make your communication a lot clearer. If you're not sure how to do this, read books out loud to little children and put lots of expression into your voice. That's what tone is. Expression and emotion, and it's often more true than the words coming out at the same time!
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